Magi Soul

I don’t want to complain or be a miser. But I’m just so tired. Prices of things are going up while the criteria to receive most anything (a job, lease a home, have a car) keeps changing and the chances of actually receiving and maintaining seem to be decreasing.

I’m tired of the system choking me. I’m tired of feeling like no matter what I do things don’t work out. I’m tired of having to try so hard to find a silver lining. Not having a close knit friend group or community is tiring. The lack of close healthy family connections is tiring. I’m tired of receiving the same rejection emails over and over. I’m tired of worrying about how my bills will get paid. I’m tired of feeling lonely. I’m tired of time passing quickly when I want it to pass slow. I’m tired of my indecisiveness. The struggle of choosing what I want versus what I have to is exhausting. I’m tired of the mental gymnastics that occur whenever I’m triggered. I’m tired of wondering if someone is my friend or if I’m a placeholder in their life. I’m tired of feeling unskilled and inadequate for work. I’m tired of societal expectations and humiliation rituals to get accepted by others. I’m tired of older generations criticizing the younger generation for being accepting of what their generation judged. I’m tired of billionaires and millionaires taking more than what they need. I’m tired and over everything being a scam. I’m tired of being in situations where I have to choose between bills and feeding myself. I’m tired of their being conditions for everything.

I’m tired of being tired.